Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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