i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
