Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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