I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
