I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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