Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
