i permit you to call me
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
