Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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