i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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