Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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