Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
