She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
