you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
