Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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