bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i wish my penis had a tongue
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
