Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
