did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
