Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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