sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
