well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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