We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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