Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
