my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
