His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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