i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
