you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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