I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
