i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
