you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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