No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Terrible idea I love it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
