You just made me feel so damn special
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
