She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
