and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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