Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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