I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize