Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
