their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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