ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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