he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
