My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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