It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
