There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize