My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize