He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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