Just took my morning after pill in the library
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
