hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
