oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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