I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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