What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
