I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
