Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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