I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
