If i come over, it means nothing
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
