Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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