stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
