if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
