do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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