You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
