based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
