Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
