i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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