i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
