dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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