You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
