And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
