Buhtt sex?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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