watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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