i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
