hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
