guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize