hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
